Welcome back everyone! Apologies for being gone for sooo long :3
I was working on a bunch of long ass blogs and then realized it was all for nothing, because I didn’t know enough about the topic to be able to write something worth writing. And so I started reading about all of it. That didn’t help either because the research for “The game development of darksouls” is going to take longer than a day! So I kind of needed a break before going back in again.
Now, though, I have an idea for the blog and how I want to do stuff in the future. Currently, I just write and do stuff or make stuff whenever I feel like it, which isn’t very productive or helpful or efficient or anything else other than “quick and easy”.
Through my ~17 years of existence, I’ve come to learn that I enjoy learning things and using that knowledge (by making something or teaching) than anything else I’ve done. And I want this blog to be a testament to that statement. That was the idea before as well, but it didn’t have enough time in the oven for me to actually structure myself around it.
So what’s going to change? Well, for you, dear reader-you’ll just get a monthly blog where I talk about what I’ve learned and made. And for me? I’m going to be working on ONE thing every month and write a blog post on it.
I struggle with studying a lot. It’s not because the material isn’t interesting (although I do have many concerns about its usefulness and why this specifically was chosen) or I don’t understand but that I low-key might have ADD (ADHD without the H) and so I get distracted even when I don’t want to, by myself! When I’m working, I’ll have seemingly random thoughts about different fields and projects and rabbit holes to go down. For a normal person, you can just tune that shit out, but for me, it’s just not that simple.
I just need to have some tangible creative output, so I don’t get depressed and also be able to meet deadlines and stuff for school. I feel like this to-be-tested solution is the beat shot I have.
Normally, when I want to make something, I just use AI to get a tangible end product out as soon as possible and then never think about it again. But it feels wrong to me even when I’m doing it. Like I’m cheating knowledge? And it isn’t like I’m going to be tested on this or anything, either. It’s for myself, because I find the subject (for example: shader art coding or emulators) interesting.
But what ends up happening is that with
unfinished school work and tests piling up every second along with a
lot of stress accumulated from my pretty shit home life, I end up
feeling like I need to just have a final product and that’s all
that matters.
But it doesn’t. It leaves me with superficial knowledge that is just enough to kill my joy of the subject.
And so, with just one thing to work on, I will have more order in my life and be able to manage studying with being a person. And I lived happily ever after. THE END. See you all at the end of the month with the first blog post that is about what I learned and made!! I’m excited.